A Nerd Convergence

Babies. They pee. A LOT. Sometimes it doesn’t stay in the diaper, where it should. Clicky to see my top 5 tips so far for having a dry baby boy, and avoiding leaky diapers.

     1.) POINT THE PENIS DOWN. This one is for boys only, so I apologize if you have a little girl and find this tip inaccesible. It shouldn’t work on a girl. If it does work on your little girl, you may consider getting a new doctor. Then again, you may be able to use this on yourself in your twilight depends-centric years, or on your enfeebled husband! Always a silver lining.

It is common sense, of course, to point his little prodigious winkus at the absorbant pad in the diaper, but when you have a newborn, especially your first, you’ll probably find the whole thing overwhelming and forget a thing or two here or there. This one is really pretty key.

2.) MAKE SURE THE DIAPER WEBBING IS AROUND HIS BUTT. This next one is for keeping Mom and Dad, and anyone else who holds the baby (sorry uncle Andrew!), as dry as the baby. Many a times in these early weeks I’ve been snuggled up with my baby, only to realize later I have a large, continent shaped pee blot on my shirt, and his onesie is sopping wet . Sometimes I think this is just a volume issue–if you were on a liquid diet your pee stream would probably over power any diaper you threw at it, but also sometime they just have to be put on right.

Most diapers have an inner webbing/liner the fits snuggly around the baby’s legs and cute little bummy wummicus. I noticed that sometimes these things just sort of get mashed up in there somehow, and don’t really come out and do their work unless you guide them into place. Again, it’s common sense to make sure the diaper is on properly, but when your little baby is squirming around or crying, and especially if it’s about 3:30 AM, it can be an easy step to overlook.

3.) KEEP A PEE AND POOP SHIELD HANDY. This one is again aimed at keeping Mom and Dad dry and as poop free as possible. Often times when you’re changing your newborn, you’ll think, “Well, there is no possible way they could have more poop or pee up in there. This diaper is heavier than a blackhole.” But guess what, doctor, YOU’RE WRONG! Beware of the second wave. Guard your flank. Just when you think you’re safe, you’re likely to catch a stream in the eye or get a smelly present on your hand.

My mom’s way of dealing with this is to immediately place the new diaper under the baby after taking the dirty one out. Just keep him lifted by his ankles and clean him up. If anything goes awry, you can just clamp the new diaper over your papers geothermic power source and wait it out. I get annoyed doing that, so typically I just keep a receiving blanket under him while changing and use it in a similar way. I can just lift up the corners to shield myself or any area that needs shielding, and it helps keep the mess to a minimum.

4.) USE PLENTY OF DIAPER CREAM. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I have not had to deal with the horrors of diaper rash, but I understand it’s quite nasty for all parties involved. The reason I’m suggesting it is because it just seems soothing for the baby. Neither my wife nor I had ever changed a diaper before, and we thought Butt Paste, or diaper cream was just as a reaction to rashes. My dad kindly instructed me to “slather it on”, and it really seems to calm my little guy down, and hopefully will save any further hassle.

5.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT SIZE. A snug diaper is not always the best diaper. Sure, it’s important, but the you also have to make sure the thing is capable of getting the job done. You wouldn’t use a napkin to clean up an oil spill, so even though you might think your adorable lil yellow water factory doesn’t quite fit in the next step up in diapers, you might be surprised at how absorbant the pad is. He might also feel a little more comfortable.

I’d love to hear tips and tricks from anyone else!